A Christian counselor once gave me the best definition of anger. Here it goes. “Anger comes out of perceived or real injustices”. Blow me away. Knock me over. This definition rocks! Why? Because we are dealing with perceived or real injustices on a regular basis. Our world, our nation, our community, our family, our home can flow with injustices.
When I am working with an individual or marriage in counseling, I often have the person write out all the injustices from their story of hurt. It could be childhood, adolescence, pre-marital, and marital injustices. It is freeing to identify the hurt, to recognize the wounds, and to understand what the options are with the pain.
If pain is not resolved, the likelihood of it being triggered is high. Then we react with frustration and anger. Hurting marriages are usually filled with perceived or real injustices. We lash out to neutralize the person. And then we protect ourselves from further injustices. How about writing out your injustices? It might take awhile. It might very well mean the difference between a “break down” or a “break through”.